Tony Danza!

I wanted to point out that my teacher suggested I watch Tony Danza's new show, Teach. It plays Friday nights at 10PM on A&E. It's so funny to see Tony Danza teaching! He apparently went to school to become a high school English teacher, but then became famous, so he never ended up teaching. A&E's website has information about the show, including clips from episodes. Unfortunately, I could not find full episodes of the show on the A&E website, but I was able to locate some on Hulu.com. I was hoping to find the first episode so that I could watch his first day(s) of teaching, but I still have not been able to find it anywhere. Maybe I'll order the DVD set when it comes out eventually, because I think that I can learn a lot by watching him struggle.

I have only gotten to see one episode so far, and Tony struggled with classroom management in the episode that I watched. He couldn't get his class to quiet down, but it seemed to me that he wasn't raising his voice enough or being assertive enough. Instead of gaining control of the class, Tony shuts down, says "I give up," and walks into the hallway. I was shocked to see him begin to cry in the hall! Maybe because he is male, it was extra shocking to me, simply because I haven't seen many men cry. I'm not trying to be sexist, but I'm just stating gender roles that I have witnessed. We talk about gendered stuff like this in my gender and communication class, but that is a whole different realm of discussion. Anyway, I felt that I could relate to Tony in his frustration and need to cry, but no matter how hard things get, I feel that you really shouldn't let your students see you break down and cry (especially not when it is because you can't control the classroom!) But, I was happy to see how the students reacted: they felt bad, and ended up coming together to make him a poster with an apology in which all the kids signed. Things like that keep me optimistic about teaching, because although the kids might push your buttons and try to wear you down, some of them genuinely do care about their teachers as human beings. I'm really excited to eventually have a classroom full of kids whom I know and connect with and hopefully interact with on a personal level!



PS -- Here is the A&E description of Tony Danza's show:

"During the 2009-2010 school year, he took on his most challenging and rewarding role yet as he stepped into the classroom as a full-time teacher at Philadelphia’s Northeast High School. 'Teach: Tony Danza' follows the first year-teacher as he instructs a 10th-grade English class with 26 students in back-to-back 45-minute periods. The series will look at the challenges Danza faced and the rewards he experienced as a first-year high school teacher."

Student Teaching

I'm getting excited and nervous to start my ten day unit...I start on Tuesday, November 9! Unfortunately, we had to push the date back a few times because my cooperating teacher wasn't able to get through things as quickly as he'd planned. The students just didn't know as much as he had hoped they would, but this is his first year teaching 10th graders. I guess that is just part of the teaching process, though. Not everything is going to go as planned, and often times you will have no control of what teachers are teaching students in prior years. Being able to alter plans is something that I will have to be prepared to do, and in this case, I am getting some practice at that. I had to revise my unit plan since the students don't know as much background information as my teacher and I would have liked. So, my unit on commas is going to be a bit more difficult than I'd originally planned. I am going to have to go over terms they don't all already know, like independent clause, appositive, nonessential subordinate clause, and so on. I think this will be a great learning experience, especially because I have never really taught anything before. I have sat and observed plenty of classes, but I've pretty much only taught two mini-lessons. Dr. Kist is coming to observe on the first day of my unit, and my advisor is coming for the second day. I think that I am especially nervous because my first two days of teaching are going to be spent with not only a classroom full of 10th graders and my cooperating teacher watching, but also my professor and student teaching advisor. All I can do is plan, prepare, and hope for the best!

The Professor and the Madman

Well, oddly enough, this book also coincides with my last posting about my roommate who has lost touch with reality. Even some of the phrasing in the book, like "the sad and relentless progress of his downward spiral" (page 123) reminds me of how I described George's struggle, a downward spiral. The descriptions of the doctor are very similar to what I witnessed when my roommate quickly lost his mind. For example, "Small boys, he believed, were put up in the rafters above his bed...[he] is convinced that intruders manage to get in...the expression of his face in the morning is often haggard and wild, as though he did not obtain much rest" (pages 123-124). The idea that intruders are trying to get in is very similar to the case with my roommate, who still believes that people are coming after him. Also, the haggard, wild appearance matches the look that I saw on my roommate's face the day before his family came to take him away. This only further cements my notion that something is seriously wrong with my roommate. My apologies for coming back to this topic again, but I suppose it is my blog so I can write about whatever I'd like to!

I was surprised to find that Eliza Merrett, the widow of the man Dr. Minor had murdered, agreed to meet with him at the prison. Personally, I would assume that I would never want to meet with a man who murdered my husband, but I guess until you're actually in that situation, you don't know what you would want to do. It's even weirder that she agreed to bring Minor books; why would she want to help this man?

Additionally, I found it to be very interesting and amazing to learn a bit about how the Oxford English Dictionary was made. I guess I had never really thought about how a dictionary was made, but I would imagine that it would be an immense amount of work. I learned that "[The] dictionary was all about the gathering of hundreds of thousands of quotations...[The quotations] were to be written on half sheets of writing paper. [The target word] was to be written at the top left. The crucial date of the quotation should be written just below it, then the name of the author and title of the cited book, the page number, and finally, the full text of the sentence being quoted" (page 134-135). I suppose it would be good work for someone in prison to do, because they have nothing better to do.

It's funny, because as I'm writing this, I have my TV on in the background. I just heard Conan O'Brien say, "The new Oxford Dictionary has declared Sarah Palin's made-up word, refutiate, to be the 2010 word of the year...Palin was honored, and said she'd do her best to 'dismangle' the English Language." I thought that was funny, but I also LOVE Conan! It's interesting how new words keep being added to the dictionary, but I wonder how easy or difficult it is to get a new word into the dictionary. Naturally, I Googled it, and found a website that briefly explains it. "Merriam-Webster and Oxford have different standards for putting words into dictionaries. According to Merriam-Webster's explanation of how a word is chosen to be printed into a dictionary, 'The answer is simple: usage.' If a word is used frequently, it is a candidate for the dictionary."  Also, "It isn't so easy for a word to leap onto the pages of an Oxford Dictionary. According to Blowin' in the Wind, 'The OED is conservative in its approach to language, keeping out newfangled words until they have been around for a few years at least. But once a word gets into the dictionary, it stays there forever.' "

The sad truth...

In reading Stephen Koch's The Modern Library Writer's Workshop: A Guide to the Craft of Fiction, I wanted to point out page 137. This section of the book talks about the differences between fact and fiction. A quote by Toni Morrison says that "Fiction, by definition, is distinct from fact...the crucial distinction for me is not the difference between fact and fiction, but the distinction between fact and truth. Because facts can exist without human intelligence, but truth cannot" (page 138). It took me a few times reading that quote to understand it, and I am still not fully sure that I do. I guess that is merely because I don't know if I can distinguish the difference between fact and truth. This made me think about facts and truths and what it all really means...

It's weird, because this idea of truth coincidentally has a lot to do with a problem I am facing right now. I have a roommate who, in the fast few days, has had a very sudden and unexpected downward spiral toward what appears to be schizophrenia. It is very disheartening, very sad, and very hard to deal with right now. I find myself selfishly thinking that it could not have happened at a worse time, when I am extremely busy teaching, working, and drowning myself in projects and assignments. Then, I think about what my roommate is going through. I can't even imagine what it must feel like to be him right now. I have known him for at least four years now, and he has proven to be a pretty "normal" dude up until a few days ago. Something in him changed, a switch was flipped in his brain, and now he has lost all touch with reality. I am mentioning this not only because it's all I can think about, but also because this idea of fact and truth directly connects to my roommate's situation. (For privacy's sake, I am going to say that his name is George.)

When my roommates and I first started noticing that George was acting different, he spoke a lot about truth. One of the first strange things that he said was that he knows of at least 23 people who are lying to him (who it is and what they are lying about, he won't say). He said that he can read any language and understand it, and that he can listen to any rap song and understand it inside out and backwards. He said that he had just got back from a four hour police chase, and that there are people out to get him. He started to disappear at night, and would not tell anyone where he went or what he was doing. He had all this talk about "planning" and was texting his best friends from home, telling them to never use his phone number again, and that they would understand why in the future. His appearance was terrible and he looked like he had not slept in days. There were giant reddish-purple circles under his eyes, stretching nearly halfway down his face. His demeanor had changed, and he appeared very frightened by something, perhaps his own mind. He started gambling online last week, and in the past few days has spent over $800 on a tattoo and lottery tickets, among other things. I can't even begin to list the other ways in which George had been acting strange and out-of-character. His actions were so odd that I had become completely terrified for him. Obviously, my roommates and I quickly realized that something had gone very wrong in a very short lapse of time. We were concerned that he might be suicidal, or that he might even pose a threat to us. Fortunately, as a group, we called a crisis hotline and spoke with a professional who told us to contact his family. We called his brother, who came to our house and took George home just two days ago. No one has spoken to him since. He will not respond to any calls, texts, or Facebook messages. However, George's father came to our house to retrieve some of his belongings. He appeared very sad and had tears in his eyes. George had given his dad two sheets of paper: one with a list of things he needed from his room, and one with a note to the roommates. The second note read: 

"I needed to get out of Kent. There's lies everywhere, and I can't tell what the truth is. Miss you dude and stay in touch. --George" 

This note was very disturbing to me. "I can't tell what the truth is" seemed to describe perfectly what was going on. Something in George had changed, and he could no longer distinguish his imagination from reality. To him, he may have thought he was telling the truth when he said that he was on a four hour police chase, but  it was not true in reality. He thinks that people are out to get him and that he can read any language, but in reality, that is not the truth. The real George that I knew not more than four or five days ago would have been able to recognize the real truth. 

What was even more disturbing was what we found when we went into his room to get the things he had asked for. There was a giant poster board on his wall, covered in  hundreds of scattered post-it notes with only a word or two scrawled on each. He had ripped out pieces of newspapers and magazines and attached them to this strange flow chart or collage, whatever it was. There were also close to two dozen sheets of notebook paper with strange drawings and words jumbled all over them. Words were misspelled and there seemed to be no cohesiveness or direction to any of it. "Pain" and "logic" and "dreams" and "truth" were the only somewhat common denominators in what he was writing. He also had written a few letters. One was written to rapper Lil Wayne, in which he congratulated him for getting out of prison and wrote what appeared to be his own freestyle rap. Another letter was written to Mr. Mason, a man whom we have never heard of and and think may be imaginary. The letter, which is also covered in strange drawings, talks about the time George and Mr. Mason were at war in '54, and George asks him if he wants to "go get a drink with a fellow jarhead soon." George is only 23 and has never been in the military, so this was especially difficult to look at.

I guess the point I'm getting to is that maybe truth is harder to define than we think it is. For a person who cannot maintain a grip on reality, truth may not be absolute. Unfortunately, as his roommates, we still don't know the truth about what has happened to our friend. We know that something has gone horribly wrong in his mind, but we don't know what caused it. The only truth we have to cling onto now is that we deeply miss our friend.